Using Character Archetypes to Tell a Loved One’s Story: Lessons from Game Design

Start here if writing an obituary or eulogy feels impossible

When grief narrows your focus, the idea of writing a meaningful obituary or eulogy can feel overwhelming. You want to be honest, keep the family’s voice, include funny family anecdotes, and avoid saying something that feels off or hurtful. This article gives you a compassionate, practical method — inspired by the character-driven storytelling used in the 2025 indie game Baby Steps — to shape a loved one’s story using simple archetypes, a clear narrative arc, and “baby steps” drafting so you can balance humor and honesty.

Why game design matters to eulogy crafting in 2026

Game writers spend years learning how a few well-chosen traits and one clear arc can make a character feel alive in minutes. In 2025, designers of Baby Steps created Nate, a deliberately messy, lovable “manbaby” whose flaws, comic habits, and tiny victories build warmth and recognition. Families can borrow the same tools: pick a core archetype, layer small, revealing details, and let a simple arc carry the piece.

In 2026, the rise of AI-assisted drafting tools, interactive memorials, and increased concern about online permanence means funeral writing is both more reachable and more public than ever. That makes clear, careful storytelling — and a compassionate editorial process — essential.

Quick takeaways (what to do first)

• Choose an archetype (Everyman, Jester, Caregiver, Rebel, Mentor, etc.) to anchor voice and tone.
• Use a three-part arc (Set-up, Turning Point, Legacy) to shape the obituary or eulogy.
• Start small: write one anecdote that captures their essence, then expand.
• Balance humor and honesty: use gentle mockery like Baby Steps — affectionate, not mean.
• Draft and share: two short rounds of edits with a trusted family member reduce risk of unintended hurt.

Step 1 — Pick a character archetype (and why it helps)

A single archetype gives a writing team (or a grieving family) a north star for decisions about tone, detail, and jokes. You are not trying to reduce a person to one label — you’re using a lens to choose what to emphasize so the narrative feels cohesive.

Useful archetypes for obituaries and eulogies

• The Everyman/Everywoman — dependable, ordinary heroism. Great for people whose quiet acts defined them.
• The Jester — the comic relief, the teller of one-liners. Use for people who used levity to connect.
• The Caregiver — the one who put others first. Focus on rituals and subtleties of service.
• The Mentor — teacher, coach, advisor. Highlight lessons and a ripple effect.
• The Rebel — unconventional, rule-bending. Use to celebrate risk and principled disruptions.
• The Lover — focused on relationships and emotional warmth. Center personal bonds and sensory memory.

Example: In Baby Steps, Nate is essentially a hybrid of the Jester and Everyman. He is funny, helpless, and oddly courageous because his flaws are the story engine. For an obituary, choosing a similar hybrid might let you write a piece that makes people laugh and cry in the same paragraph.

Step 2 — Build a simple narrative arc

Most memorable tributes have a recognisable shape. Borrow a three-act arc from storytelling and game design to keep readers anchored.

1. Set-up (Who they were): One-sentence summary that names the archetype and gives a clear opening image.
2. Turning Point (What they did): An anecdote or two that reveals character through conflict or choice — the moment that made the archetype visible.
3. Legacy (What they leave behind): Small, concrete ways the family and community remember them — a ritual, a joke, a lesson.

Keep each section short — three to five sentences for an eulogy paragraph, two to three lines for an obituary slot. The arc helps you choose which family anecdotes to include and which to leave for private conversation.

Step 3 — Choose voice and tone: balancing humor and honesty

Families often fear being too funny or too blunt. The Baby Steps team modeled a useful approach called loving mockery: affectionate teasing that acknowledges flaws but never diminishes worth. Use these practical rules:

• Permission first: If the person joked about the trait themselves, it’s safer to echo that humor.
• Audience awareness: Consider elders, children, religious attendees; what will land and what might wound?
• Anchor jokes in tenderness: Follow any teasing line with an explicit recognition of love or value.
• Be specific: A small, concrete funny story wins over vague mockery.

Example of a balanced line: “He never learned to fold a fitted sheet — and we made him try anyway, because he was the family volunteer for impossible tasks.” That line teases but ends with a clear warmth.

Step 4 — Use family anecdotes with purpose

Not every story belongs in a public piece. Use the archetype and arc to test anecdotes: does this story reveal the person’s deepest trait? Does it move the narrative forward? If yes — include it.

How to pick a lasting anecdote:

• Look for moments of contradiction: habits that conflict with values (e.g., a serious person who loved a childish joke).
• Prefer sensory details: smells, sounds, a precise phrase they said regularly.
• Limit length: a single three-line anecdote beats a paragraph that wanders.

Example anecdote structure (one sentence each): set-up, odd detail, meaning. That keeps family anecdotes tight and meaningful.

Step 5 — A practical “baby steps” drafting method

Grief reduces mental bandwidth. Break the task into five small, timed steps and assign roles if you can:

1. 10 minutes: One person writes a one-sentence archetype summary (e.g., “She was our tireless Mentor and unofficial family chef.”).
2. 15 minutes: Collect three candidate anecdotes from family members (one sentence each).
3. 20 minutes: Draft the three-part arc using those anecdotes — 5–8 sentences total.
4. 10 minutes: Add service and practical info for an obituary version (dates, survivors, donations).
5. 15 minutes: Share with one trusted relative for a single round of edits focused on tone and accuracy.

This method reduces the process into achievable pieces and mirrors iteration used in game design: prototype quickly, then polish.

Sample obituary template (character-led)

Below is an adaptable obituary template that places character first, then facts. Replace bracketed text.

[Full name], [age], of [town], passed away on [date]. She was, above all, the family’s [archetype — e.g., Caregiver and Jester], who [one-line defining image — e.g., “could cook a stew while telling a joke.”]

[Two-sentence life summary — birthplace, career or defining role, and two achievements.]

One memory that captures her: [short anecdote — 2–3 lines].

She is survived by [list immediate family]. Funeral services will be held [date/time/location]. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to [charity].

Sample 3-paragraph eulogy (200–300 words)

Use this as a modular piece you can expand or shrink.

Opening (Set-up): “When I think of Rose, I think of the sound of her laugh cutting through a quiet kitchen. She was, unmistakably, our family’s Mentor — the one who would stop whatever she was doing to teach a child to measure flour properly or to listen when a neighbor needed advice.”

Middle (Turning Point / Anecdote): “There was the time she entered a baking contest on a whim. She forgot the sugar. Instead of admitting it, she called it ‘reduced sweetness’ and won a prize for ‘most memorable flavor’ — which became our family euphemism for surviving a misstep with a smile. That was uniquely Rose: she found a way to make every mistake feel like a story we’d laugh about for years.”

Close (Legacy): “If you’re ever in our kitchen and the batter looks thin or the house is too quiet, think of Rose. Make something slightly wrong, tell the story, and pass the recipe on. That’s how she keeps teaching us.”

How to edit safely and sensitively

Editing a public tribute requires empathy and practical guardrails.

• One-trust rule: Only one non-family editor if possible — someone who knows both the deceased and the audience.
• Fact-check: Dates, names, and spellings matter. Double-check funeral times, beneficiaries, and honorifics.
• Threshold test: If a story would be awkward at a church service or in a newspaper, it's probably too raw for the obituary.
• Two-tier drafts: Create a short obituary for public use and a longer eulogy for the service where more nuance is safe.

Digital memorials and 2026 trends — what families should know

Digital memorials continue to evolve. Late 2025 and early 2026 saw expanded tools for legacy management (legacy contacts, limited scheduled posts, and richer tribute templates) across major platforms. At the same time, AI tools now offer draft suggestions and voice synthesis, which can accelerate eulogy crafting — but also introduce ethical risks.

Practical guidance for digital memorials in 2026:

• Use AI judiciously: Let it suggest structure or phrasing, but always keep the final voice human; never publish AI-generated voice impersonations without explicit consent from family.
• Archive thoughtfully: Save a plain-text copy of the obituary and eulogy off-platform (PDF and a printed copy) for legal and sentimental permanence.
• Privacy controls: Use platform legacy settings and review comments before making pages public.
• Interactive tributes: If you use a service that allows multimedia (video, audio clips, comment threads), curate a few representative items rather than leaving an open, unmoderated stream.

Case study: Writing “Nate” into a family-style tribute

Imagine a cousin who was a bit like Baby Steps’ Nate — reluctant, imperfect, but beloved. The family is deciding how to honor him in a short obituary and a handful of eulogy lines. Using the methods above, they chose the archetype “Lovable Reluctant Hero”, collected three micro-anecdotes (the onesie at a costume party, the time he misread a map and discovered a picnic spot, his habit of apologizing before every story), and built an arc that moved from comic flattery to sincere admiration.

“He was the kind of person who’d apologize before he even started a joke — then leave the whole room laughing. He taught us how to find a good view by getting very, very lost.”

This keeps the tone affectionate, uses humor rooted in truth, and ends with a positive legacy — the metaphor of finding a view despite being lost.

Templates you can copy now

Below are two copy-ready snippets: a short obituary blurb and a 90-second eulogy opening. Copy, paste, and adapt.

Obituary blurb (50–75 words)

[Name], [age], of [town], passed away on [date]. A [archetype], [Name] was known for [1–2 concrete traits]. Remember them for [anecdote in one line]. Services: [date/time/place]. Donations: [organization].

90-second eulogy opening

“[Name] had a habit of [quirk], and we used to say [family phrase]. That little habit tells you everything about them: they were [archetype], which meant they [core value]. One time, [short anecdote]. That’s the sort of thing we’ll hold on to.”

Advanced edits: deepening voice and craft

If you want to make a longer tribute or a printed remembrance, consider these advanced moves used by narrative designers:

• Motif repetition: Introduce a small sensory motif (a song, a smell, a hat) and repeat it at the end to create emotional closure.
• Contrast beats: Place a short, funny anecdote next to a quiet moment to magnify both; the contrast reveals complexity.
• Secondary characters: Mention one or two people who acted as foils (e.g., the sibling who dared them into adventures) to show relationships.
• Micro-dialogue: Include a remembered phrase or line of dialogue — it personalizes voice quickly.

Common pitfalls and how to avoid them

• Too many stories: Keep the public piece concise; select the anecdotes that best serve the archetype and arc.
• Over-editing out of fear: If every line is neutered to avoid offense, you lose the person’s voice. Let one trusted reader keep some original flourishes.
• Relying fully on AI: AI can help with grammar and structure but can flatten unique voice. Use human hands for sentiment.
• Ignoring legal/permission needs: Get permission before publishing photos, personal documents, or audio that includes others’ private statements.

Final checklist before publishing or reading aloud

• Read aloud: Does it sound like the person or your relationship to them?
• Fact-check names, dates, and times.
• Run a tone check with one trusted family member from a different generation.
• Decide on a public vs. private version and prepare both.
• Save offline copies (plain text and PDF) and note where the master file is stored.

Why this approach works now

In 2026, funeral or memorial writing sits at the crossroads of new tools and new responsibilities. Families can use generative tools to iterate quickly, but the increased visibility of digital memorials and the ethical questions of voice synthesis make human-centered storytelling critical. Borrowing concise, character-forward techniques from game design helps create tributes that are honest, memorable, and shareable — without sacrificing privacy or nuance.

Resources and next steps

• Downloadable templates: short obituary, longer obituary, 90-second eulogy, full funeral order of service.
• Privacy guide: steps for archiving and setting legacy permissions on major platforms (updated 2026).
• Grief support links: vetted resources for immediate emotional support and longer-term bereavement counseling.

Closing: a gentle invitation

Writing about a loved one is an act of love itself. You don’t have to get the words perfect on the first try. Use a single archetype, one clear anecdote, and a simple arc — then take small steps to refine tone and facts. Like the creators of Baby Steps found with Nate, warm, imperfect honesty almost always connects more than polished praise.

If you’d like, start now with one sentence: who were they in a line? Put that line somewhere safe, and we’ll help you take the next baby step.

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